Recovering from a dramatic delivery
As you go through this- please write your questions down and then…
- Talk to your provider
- Chat with your doula
- Or send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org
Healing an Emotional Scar
Some women who have had something unexpected during their delivery or an unexpected procedure have emotional scars long after their incision pain goes away. They have questions and not all of those questions have answers. Was I dilated at 5 or at 8? Could I have pushed longer? Why won’t someone answer my questions?
Sometimes there are reasons why the answers don’t come quickly or easily.
- There were many people providing different exams and opinions
- Providers are not always the best communicators
- To put it mildly, sometimes labor, deliveries, or C-sections happen quite quickly, and there is more stress than you would have ever imagined. There simply isn’t enough time to discuss and process all of the details that come up well down the road. Never mind the fact that you don’t even remember your own name from sheer parenting exhaustion.
But now you have questions. Perhaps many.
It’s time to chat with the provider who helped with your labor, vaginal delivery, or C-section.
A few suggestions:
- You should ask for a longer appointment so that you have enough time to discuss everything.
- Come with written questions.
- Consider coming to the appointment with a support person such as a spouse or your doula.
- Be honest with your feelings, but respectful.
Be ready for all different possible responses from your provider:
- Sincere sympathy and disappointment that your plans to deliver your baby changed and that a C-section was necessary to deliver your baby. Answers to all of your questions.
- The message that, “You shouldn’t be disappointed because you have a healthy baby.”
- Short verbal answers or body language that says, “I don’t have time for your questions.”
If you do not get all of the answers that you feel like you need, please consider requesting your medical records and reviewing them with another pregnancy provider, preferably someone who has some level of experience with C-sections so that most technical questions are answered as best as possible.
And then it is time to take care of your family:
How are you going to be able to take care of your little one if you remain focused on your delivery? Quite simply, you can’t.
The focus moving forward is to control the things that you can indeed control- such as giving your baby the love and care that it deserves. If you feel like you are still struggling with your emotions, there are many, many ways to find help.
- The Twin Cities ICAN Cesarean group (http://www.ican-online.org/twincities/) has an excellent support network
- Consider a therapist with whom to talk to- there are a few that focus on issues following delivery. A big kudos to Crystal Clancy, she is quite simply amazing. http://www.stagescounselingmn.com/
- Seek a primary care provider with whom you can discuss your concerns; depending on the severity of your symptoms there may be a good reason to discuss the pros and cons of medication
Most importantly, by taking care of yourself and your feelings, you will be better able to take care of your family. It’s also a way in which you can look forward to baby number 2. Again, when in doubt, you are welcome to email me at email@example.com. Sincerely, Ryan Dick MD